Flock Like Birds. . .

Ladies: Isn't it funny how seemingly EVERY MAN on God's green earth wants you when you're in a relationship? It seems like you can't even walk out of the house without getting a honk or a "hey lil mama, excuse me miss" OR some lame ass punchline. Once I had a guy pay for my gas before I could even get to the window! lol. 

Fellas: Ever find it weird that the females you NEVER expected to talk to you, come & talk to you when you're with someone? && it's always the BAD ones isn't it?

I came up with my own logic for this a while back. 

Like to hear it? Here it go  

I'll simplify this to the lowest commom denominator.

Usually when you get into a relationship, you put your best foot forward. I know a lot of women AND men who do INCLUDING myself. So when you're at your best about 85% of the time OF COURSE someone else is gonna want to talk to you. & by someone, I mean everybody & their daddy lol. 

Seriously though

think about it. You meet someone that you REALLY like && you spend HOURS trying to find something to wear on your first date. If they just so happen to pop up on you, you run to the bathroom just to brush your hair. You excuse yourself if you have gas. You sip your drinks real pretty like. You ALWAYS want to make sure you look your best. You even start ironing your clothes o_O lol 

I had an ex who didn't even want to SEE me if he didn't have his hair cut. lol. I used to be like, "No, it's fine. Just come over." && he used to make up excuses, then, he finally admitted that he never wanted to see me if his hair wasn't cut or he was wearing somthing that I had already seen him in.

I call it the relationship mask because some people MOST people change that ish up after about 3 or 4 months.

Don't let all of this new attention take your mind off of the fact that you are still in a relationship though.  At the end of the day, remember who you're doing it for. . . The both of YOU.

I'm not the type that usually likes a whole bunch of attention anyway, so I usually ignore it BUT if you're anything like an old friend of mine (who shall remain nameless)& you live off of & crave attention then. . . Maybe you should rethink being in a relationship ALL TOGETHER because that in itself will cause drama. But that's a whole 'nother blog :)

. . .  Sincerely, Venus 

TINY HAND OF HOPE

A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the U.S. paper which published it, you probably would never have seen it.

The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner. The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.

The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, "Hand of Hope." The text explaining the picture begins, "The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life."

Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture. She said, "The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person" Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 percent successful. Now see the actual picture, and it is awesome...incredible....

The story was found here "Tiny Hand of Hope"

YOUTUBE TUESDAY!!!

I know I usually post the Youtube Tuesdays in the I Am Music section but this . . . isn't music lol.

Anyway this guy's name is Kain Carter from Bmore Md. He is one of THE FUNNIEST guys I've ever heard of. I haven't laughed this hard since Kevin Hart's "Seriously Funny". . . This video is on the more serious scale of things but you have to check the rest of his videos out. I will put the link below

BROTHERLY LOVE:

 

HOTDAMNIROCK

HOTDAMNIROCK3

FLOYD MAYWEATHER VS. VICTOR ORTIZ

IIIIIIIINNNNNN the left hand corner weighing in @ 146 standing 5’9  from Bumpbumpbumpville, Michigan

FLOYD PRETTY BOY MAYWEATHERRRRR

&& IIIIINNNNNNNN the right hand corner, weighing in at 147 lbs standing 5’9 from THE WISHANIGGAWOODS, Kansas

VICTORRRRRRRR **Rolls R’s**ORRRRRTIZ

I was rooting for Ortiz last night neverminding his stats.

He stays professional (until last night) && he is VERY skilled to be so young. Mayweather was undefeated but he talks too much shit for me.Besides him being a shit talker you know I’m NEVER one to doubt skill though.Anywho, I’ll give a brief rundown. . .Ortiz had Round 1

Mayweather Rounds 2 & 3

Round 4. .  .

SMH

Well, just watch Round 4 here

(Nevermind the language LOL)

Did you see that shit!??!!!

Ortiz had Mayweather on the ropes but after about the 3rd punch, he began throwing a bunch of undecided blows then LOW & BEHOLD. . . He headbutts Mayweather. I’m not a biased person at all. Atleast I try not to be. So just because I’m rooting for someone doesn’t mean that I won’t admit when you’re wrong && Ortiz was

 DEAD WRONG FOR THAT

Mayweather was clearly upset. I would’ve been too.

Ortiz constantly tried to apologized but Mayweather wasn’t having it AT ALL. @ about 3:05 of the clip, The referee scolds Ortiz then says “LET’S GO!” Ortiz walks up, tries to apologize yet again & Mayweather knocks him out with 2 punches.

                     (Check the Ref's face LMAO)
Unprofessional?

YES

 But realistic?

 Again, YES

How so you ask?

Brief example:

Think about a time when someone has done something REALLY dirty to you then apologized & you STILL wanted to f*ck them up. . .

“Vengence is MINE. . . ”

says HE but we are but mere mortals.I agree that Mayweather should’ve waited until the referee OFFICIALLY called them back to fight & was actually paying attention

 BLAH BLAH BLAH.

He acted in an unprofessional manner.

BUT

So did Ortiz. Ortiz had this man on the ropes, which btw doesn’t happen often.He had the best of him but who’s fault is it that you were throwing them undecided ass blows? How is it now MY FAULT that you can’t get it together? Now I’m supposed to be ok with you headbutting in my mouth because you’re apologizing?

NO

True enough Ortiz was penalized for the headbutt & Mayweather should’ve just got back at him through the rest of the fight but he fought fire with fire.Ortiz went OUT OF GUIDELINES acted unprofessionally, apologized & got penalized.Mayweather acted unprofessionally, STAYED WITHIN GUIDELINES & in return received the belt.

Moral of the story?

KEEP YOUR GUARDS UP AT AL TIMES

You never know WHAT’S going on in someone’s mind. Just because you’re sincerely apologetic doesn’t mean that they don’t still want to, in the wise words of my Grandmother,  

MUFF YOU UP!

Sincerely, 

Venus

.

If you like it, PUT A RING ON IT. . .     OR NOT

Ring or no ring? That is the question. . . 

With my recent engagement ALOT of questions have been raised about why I'm not wearing a ring.

NO

I'm not wearing a ring. So many questions were raised that it actually began to upset me, then I thought to myself "Who am I trying to prove something to?"

NO ONE.  

That's who.

&& with that I felt so much more comfortable with our decision that it doesn't even bother me anymore. WHY? Because it's for no one else to understand BUT US.

So, with that being said

Let's start with the basics & then we'll go into why I've made the decision I've made. It is tradition of the U.S. for a man to propose to a woman with a ring. The purpose of the ring is to show that the man is able to take care of the woman & what extent he is willing to go to in order to take care of home. So basically, if he can save up then dish out a couple thousand dollars than he will more than likely make things happen financially to take care of home. So all in all the engagement ring is a sign of financial commitment. Very well thought out if I do say so myself.

NOW

With that being said my fianceè & I have known each other for the past 4 years. He's done NOTHING BUT take care of me since day one. So I began feeling like the proof wasn't needed.

I also feel like there is too much emphasis put on rings & not enough emphasis put on the marriage itself. Who gives a rat's tail about a ring if the man can't take care of home?

Just because he presents a ring doesn't automatically mean that the marriage will last && just because he doesn't present one doesn't mean that it won't.

I WILL SAY 

That if he doesn't present a ring because he can't afford it yet or because he is not financially stable then maybe you guys do need to wait it out. Atleast until you are financially stable enough to stand your own ground as a couple.

Needless to say ladies

Don't let your friends or family make you feel a certain way if you don't have a ring. An engagement is simply a promise to marry.

BUT

Make sure that you are cautious :)

Sincerely, 

Venus

PLANKING

This was during that whole planking epidemic back in June:

Of course I did a little research and it revealed that slaves were chained and attached to “plank” beds. They were forced to lay face down with their arms by their side and their wrist chained to their waist. Some were even stacked on top of each other with no room to move. Keep in mind there were not any restrooms and they were exposed to bodily fluids, etc. Not many of the slaves survived, many dying from dehydration and disease. You can’t always jump on the bandwagon just because you saw someone else do something. Everything has a hidden meaning. Cultural sensitivity is REAL. Yes, it maybe fun for now but it is an insult to some. Although “planking” wasn’t the official terminology used by slave masters it is still seen as an insult to MOST African Americans, atleast the African Americans with some kind of respect for their culture & a mind of their own.  This is for you to decide. I AM NOT jumping on a bandwagon because I saw someone else do it. But what I can say is since people are doing what everyone else is doing …can you mentor a child and donate to cancer research? Sidenote: You can’t find everything on Google. It is not the only method to conduct research. Furthermore, there are so many other things that evolved from slavery but are not talked about. It is a self charge to engage in conscious thinking.  Plank collar 

A plank collar is used on slave benches. It is a heavy wooden plank with five semicircular openings, when the plank is lifted it provides holding collars for five slaves. The plank is then chained down. The primary holding arrangement for women on the benches, however, is not chains. Each place on the bench is fitted with ankle and wrist stocks, and for each bench there is a plank collar, a plank which opens horizontally, each half of which contains five matching, semicircular openings, which, when it is set on pinions, closed, and chained in place, provides five sturdy, wooden enclosures for the throats of women. The plank is thick and thus the girls’s chins are held high. The plank is further reinforced between each girl with a narrowly curved iron band, the open ends of which are pierced; this is slid tight in its slots, in its metal retainers, about the boards, and secured in place with a four-inch metal pin, which may or may not be locked in place.

ALL in all, I think that this fad is REALLY ignorant & I really hate that the MAJORITY of people who are doing this are Black people which shows that you have NO respect for your ancestors. . .SMH. As I said it is CLEARLY up to you what you do, most of you are grown but this shows a CLEAR level of IGNORANCE

Sincerely,    Venus

DANGER, SHE SMASHED THE HOMIE . . .

No seriously. . .

1-10 on gutta butt trollop activity scale, that sh*t’s an 100. Any female who willingly smashes the homie should have DANGER TATTED on her fore head. . .

This goes for men too.

Where are the limitations? That’s my question. If you’ll smash the homie what else will you do? So we’re together, I introduce you to the homie & ya’ll get nook? REALLY? There are so many different scenarios that come with this. The female feels as if she’s being done wrong, the dude’s friend comforts her & somehow, someway they end up smashin. . .

My questions are. . .

What kind of friend are you, #1, that you would have sex with my significant other & what kind of spouse are you that thinks its ok to SMASH THE F*CKIN HOMIE?????

I was in this situation about 3 years ago & I was ready to drop the Unibomba. I’m so serious. Luckily, I didn’t have a car then or it would’ve been on & POPPIN. I lived in Houston. . . There are 5 million people here. && out of 5 million people, that’s who you chose? Come on. What happened to loyalty? Honesty? MORALS? I’ll explain why I believe this is on the highest level of hoea**niggism for me.

What about your friends????

A friend is someone who you go to about anything. Someone you can depend on. Usually you can tell your friends things you can’t even tell your family. If you 2 are close enough you probably look at each other as family. You end up maintaining a kind of loyalty to your friends. . . Like a dog to it’s master per se.(Neither is the dog or master just explaining the loyalty. . .stay with me lol) There will be disagreements but at the end of the day that’s your man 100 grand. You right hand.

Is that your chick?

Then there’s the significant other. The person you’ve more than likely given your body to; shared secrets with that your friends OR family probably don’t know. You begin to develop a loyalty as husband & wife even if you’re not married. (Yes, I can compare these 2 because there are some people with the bf gf title who are FAAAAAARRRR more loyal than most husband & wives. That’s a diff blog ) All in all these 2 counterparts have 1 thing in common. YOU. Their loyalty to you.

I did it to show you how trifling they are. . .

NO. . . you did it & showed how trifling YOU are. Why would you be intimate with someone I’ve been intimate with? Why would you be intimate with someone I look at as family? More than likely I’ve you told detail after detail about our relationship. We have an argument & I come to you about it.

I’m bringing you both to events & what not & the next thing niggas know, ya’ll showin up together? WHAT IS THAT?

Bros before hoes

What happened to this? I agree with it somehwhat, I must admit. Good friends are few & far in between. A TRUE friend will be there no matter what. You’ll run into different companions for the most part but your FRIEND should be there through all of it. ALTHOUGH, I must say that a significant other who is actually loyal to you comes few-ER & FurthER in between. It’s different to be friends with  someone because there are different ties. Different emotions. But for the most part your significant other is your friend. So with a situation as such not only are you losing 2 friends but possibly the love of you life as well if you guys took it that far.

It’s sneaky. . .

On top of everything. You would HAVE to be sneaking in order to develop that type of relationship & if you’re sneaking then there is a part of you that knows it’s wrong. These type of relationships don’t last & they do end up lasting it will be DRAMA FILLED to say the least. I know a couple of people who think that this is ok . . .

SMH

“If you develop a bond. . .” There would be no bond to be developed because you’re not supposed to be overstepping that boundary in the first place. NOT COOL Even if you guys broke up & had been broken up for years. Howawkward would it be for you to show up at a function & have to be around your ex & your friend freaking making googley eyes at each other. Holding hands? DOIN THE MOST come on. . . & if you have children together it’s even worse. I consider my friends kids my nieces & nephews. Usually when you have kids they call your friend auntie & uncle. So once the tables turn, what are you Uncle Daddy???????????????? FOH. It’s 2011 people. . . I mean really. The moral of the story is:

Smashing the homie is trife on both ends & if they try to explain & come up with excuses. Even try to put it on you, you need to stop talking to both them mufuggas.

What goes around comes around & vice verse. . .

Sincerely, 
Venus

50 Japanese nucleur engineers are staying behind at the Fukushima Power Plant to try and prevent a nuclear meltdown. They are getting the same amount of radiation per hour that a nuclear engineer receives in his/her ENTIRE career. Get these heroes on the front page.

Get these heroes on the front page. EVERYONE REBLOG Retweet, share, whatever you have to do to support. They are so fucking brave. They really are; considering they know exactly how they’re going to die now. Their organs are going to melt inside their bodies and their skin will literally just melt off. fucking heros if you ask me. fuck nuclear power plants, this world is so messed up. —that was so negative & I should delete that last comment. . . But I'm not.

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Ain't No Nigga. . .

 Let’s face it, there’s always that ONE friend with the counterpart you can’t stand.The sister who likes dogs. The cousin who seemingly dug in the bottom of the barrel.The best friend who seems to have lost the fairy dust in her picker finger.The person just isn’t good to your friend. They’re an ass. They cheat, yell, lie.  They would steal the microwave from up under your mama’s nose if a nigga wasn’t lookin. They’re using them. They’re freaking obnoxious but OF COURSE your friend thinks they are the best thing since sliced bread.You can’t try & give friendly advice because they’ll jump down your throat or they just simply don’t wanna hear anything you have to say about them. PERIOD.

When their spouse hurts them, you’re the FIRST person they call though. . . smh. You want to listen & tell them everything is going to be ok but deep down you know it’s not. You don’t want to tell them that they are simply wasting their time.How do you remain a good friend without having to burst out & say

 “YOUR SPOUSE SUCKS!”?

 Fellas, you have that ONE friend with the girlfriend who ALWAYS has her hand out.

Now I ain’t sayin she a gold digger. . .  But she sure the hell wouldn’t be messing with your friend if he wasn’t driving that CTS & giving her money every week. Ladies, what about your friend who’s man is emotionally draining? Always tells her she’s a mess even when she looks her best? Tells her she will NEVER find another man like him even though he aint sh*t. Calls her fat. Is CONSTANTLY looking at other females & has even tried to talk to you. SMH. As you see, this situation has MANY different scenarios. You would love to believe that your friend would just leave that ragamuffin alone but it doesn’t always work like that. Your friend could get upset & not want to talk to YOU anymore. 
(which you definitely don’t want.)

   So the question is, what do you do ??????

You always want your friend to be able to come & talk to you about anything. You always want to be able to give them advice. Let your friend know this. If you’re uncomfortable with hearing about your friend’s relationship in fear of saying. . .

“LEAVE HIS/HER TRIFLIN ASS ALONE!”

Let them know this as well. In a nice way, of course. Try, “I’m your friend & I love you. You can talk to me about anything. It makes me very upset to hear that someone is hurting you. These kinds of conversations make me uncomfortable because I don’t know how to react.” Come up with some kind of agreement. You are friends so you BOTH should be able to express how you feel. Let your friend know that you only want what’s best. To see them hurt , hurts you.

KNOW YOUR ROLL & SHUT YOUR MOUTH

No matter what your role is in this person’s life, whether you’re a cousin, sister, brother, best friend, new friend, cutty buddy, whatever. Know your place. There is a different kind of connection between 2 spouses than 2 friends. Not to say 1 is insignificant to the other. Just different.

So stay in your place, for your friendship sake. Sometimes you have to just listen. You would want the same. You don’t want someone so engulfed in their feelings that they have no time to listen to you, so don’t do that to your friend.

Friendly advice always works.

Don’t go too hard on your friend. “You’re stupid for being with him/her.” would hurt anyone’s feelings including yours, so don’t impose that shit upon your friend. Let them figure out on their own, that it’s not a wise decision to keep dealing with the person. There’s always a better way to say some things. There’s a difference between sugarcoating & being respectful. EFF all that “I’m too real to sugarcoat . . .”.  No what’s real is being a good friend, standing by their side & NOT being a judgemental hoe. Seriously. Put yourself in their shoes & think about every possible way they could feel at the time. If they are already crying, don’t kick them while they’re down. Again it’s not sugarcoating. This is your friend & their feelings are already on the line. Be respectful of their situation & what they are already going through. Ask them what they think they should do. Tell them what you think is best & again, come to an agreement. The worst thing that could happen is that they WONT take your advice. Big whoop?!? Remember, you’re not exactly worried about the spouse. You’re worried about your friend so as long as you 2 are good, things should be fine.

Nothing but a liar cheater, deceiver, heartbreaker 

If in fact the spouse is cheating or has even tried to get at you & you want to say something

It depends on the friend.

      Bro’s before hoes. . .

isn’t every friendships motto but remember, you are not worried about their spouse per se. Moreso about the comfort of your friend. If you know that your friend will try to put it all on you, for the sake of your friendship, I would say don’t say anything. But put his/her ass (the spouse)in check.

Something like “Imma friend not a hoe. Fall back” or even “Get the f*ck outta here.” might do the trick lol. If your friendship stands the test of time .  . . Say something.

Get your friend alone & say hey we need to talk.

Don’t spring it on ‘em unless it’s happened more than once & you know for sure this is what is going on. “The things he’s/she’s said to me make me uncomfortable.” What has he/she said? They might ask. Tell them. Only if they ask. Them getting upset is a normal reaction but know that 9 times out f 10 they’re not mad at you, they are mad that the person they trust would do something like this. If at that point they try & turn it on you. The conversation should cease. You made your attempt.  

Back down.

If they want proof, bring proof if you have it. A text or something that you wouldn’t know unless the spouse told you. Anything. These kinds of situations are sensitive. I’ve kept that information to myself in the past honestly. With fear of losing my friend. Last but not least if you love your friend & just honestly want them to know. Tell them. But work out all the factors. Know that this could possibly end your friendship & if you aren’t afraid of that then say something. Again, know what you’re getting yourself into. The “if you love something let it go. . . ” clause isn’t only for relationships, I believe. If you guys are true friends, they will come back. If not, you see just how strong the friendship really was.

DON’T CONFRONT THE SPOUSE UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

&& I mean abs-f*ucking lutely necessary. Life or death. Abusive relationships. Things of that sort. I’ve been here on more than one occasion & have always ended up on the shit end of the stick. This kind of situation leaves your friend in an uncomfortable position & at times leaves them to feel they have to choose. You don’t want that. No matter how much you dislike the spouse don’t physically get in the middle.You may be VERY upset with the outcome. TRUST. If you are at a function & he’s/she’s being an ass, pull your friend to the side. “He’s being a little obnoxious, can you speak to him please.”

Try to avoid direct contact if possible. If you’re anything like me, direct contact could lead to an all out brawl lol.

Slowly making me pay for things your money should be handling. . .

Do you know for sure that the spouse is using your friend? It’s likely that they could just be down their luck. It happens to the best of us. Is he/she in fact actually looking for employment? Are they honestly trying to get it together? Do they HONESTLY help when they can? You need to know these things because this is a VERY sensitive subject. Nobody wants to know that their spouse is using them. Keep your eyes peeled but from a distance.

Take, take, take it all, but you never give. . .

Now for men. . . Some men are ok with taking care of their women but in return there is a difference between being taken care of & using the hell out of someone. Men are supposed to take care of their women but women are also supposed to take care of their men. (This should be mutual though. Eye for an eye. You rub my back, I rub yours type ish.)If not financially, then at least emotionally.

It’s easier for someone on the outside to spot out an old gold diggin hoe than it is for your friend so like I said, do your research. All in all . . . No matter what the situation. Remain respectful with the person you care about. In this instance your friend

Know your roll

 Listen

 Be honest

 Don’t be an asshole to your friend

 Let them know that this situation does not only affect them

These options should work & if not you will leave the situation atleast knowing that you tried your best.

. . . Sincerely,   Venus

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